After my speech at an event last week, a man came up to me to have a chat.
His name was Dave and he was a really nice guy – a husband and father of three who loved running in his spare time. Dave told me that my story had really struck a nerve with him, because he felt like he’d been trapped for a few years in a job he hated.
He dreamed of opening his own business and wished he could step up more in his life, the way I’d challenged everyone to during my speech.
I asked him what was stopping him from going for it and he said “Well, I don’t really have a choice right now. Starting a business is risky and I’ve got three young kids.”
Uh oh, the old ‘I have no choice’ card.
There’s a red flag to Bull Turia if I’ve ever seen one.
This is what I told him:
“You always have a choice”.
See, you may not have a choice in what you do for work right now, or the things that have happened in your past, but you always have a choice in what you do from here.
And you always, always, always have a choice in how you respond to situations in your life.
Let’s say you have the same dream as Dave – you dream of opening a business but you can’t justify the financial risk.
OK, sure, maybe that risk outweighs your desire to quit your job right now. That’s ok, but remember, that’s your choice to be a responsible parent and husband. And, you get to choose how you see the decision to stay in your job too. So, will you say “I’m stuck in this job because I have no choice” or “I choose to go to work so I can take care of my kids”?
And maybe there are some steps you can take right now to bring that dream of opening a business even closer. Maybe you can take a small business accounting course in your spare time. Maybe you can start to build a hit list of sales targets, maybe you can start building a website so you’re ready when the time comes to launch it.
You can’t change the cards you’re dealt, but you can change how you play them. – Tweet it!
The bottom line is, everyone is in the grind, dealing with stuff they don’t always want to do. But if you keep thinking you have no choice or no control over your life, well, guess what? That’s how it will be.
It’s up to you to step up and take ownership of your life and the choices you make.
And trust me, when you do, it’s gonna feel good. It’s empowering.
Woah, was that a rant or what?! Haha, I told you Bull Turia came out to play.
But seriously, I’d love to hear from YOU about this.
Is there something in your life that you’re currently doing because “you have no choice”? Can you change how you see that situation and the choice you’ve made to be there?
Let me know in the comments below.
PS Know someone who needs to hear this? Share this blog with them.
I hate my job and have been trying to get another for 18 months. I finally decided i need to take control and be happy. I have come up with a plan to change my career. At 56 its hard to let go but i have so much to offer the world 🙂
Your right, there is no such thing as not having a choice,
Due to responsibilities as an example, we may find ourselves not being able to change the status quo of our environment too much, but we have the choice of viewing our decisions in a more positive light, ( IE, instead of feeling we are trapped from making a change) and we can always edge closer to our dreams in the meantime , in any case, nothing good was ever achieved in haste
Great rant. I was the a little the same as Dave- not overly happy and thinking I had no choice. Made the tough decision to sell the dream hobby farm to relieve stress, took 12 months leave from my executive role to focus on my love of teaching and my family. It took a few years to realise I had a choice but I feel reenergised!
Like a man in your story . Many times i m feeling just wasting times in my office work. no productivity ,no new learn , just using water and electricity , gas , in office for cooling and heating myself without any benefit for myself and others also add transportation Fuel from my home to different offices .sometimes conflict of interest with other colleagues and staff .anyway . many times lacking choice or maybe freedom coming from lacking Goals and objective in life . really . till now after 43 years living in this earth . i dont have any imagine for WELFARE . maybe i m satisfy with minimums of life like that i have now in life : a little flat . a little saving account . a nearly good health insurance and .a nearly good access to internet and media and finally a pure loneliness .maybe if i have any new imagine or for wealth or welfare that bring me passion and more enjoyment moment . i left now relaxation and made choice from anythings . and running more . I think choice coming from satisfying and Objects in life and Imaginary from enjoyment that media – government -society and very important “LEADERSHIP” impose to our minds .am i true ? hope like a Sun inspire me .
So cool you’ve brought this topic up. It’s pretty much the crossroad I’m facing at the moment and the energy around it is bubbling to the surface to leave my current job.
Basically I started a small biz a few years ago and since I’ve remained turning up to a part time job in uniform because the norm of going to a job vs building your own biz creates receiving strange and doubtful looks from other’s. It’s all me..it’s my fear and lack of confidence in owning my shit that has held me back really. I think the fact that I put on a uniform is kind of protection and shields me from just encase my biz falls by the waist side.
My loving parter say’s you’ll always land on your feet.. manifest that everything will be ok and dig ya heels in so to speak. Yes the thought of not being able to financially contribute to “us” makes me feel a bit selfish but perhaps life’s about swings and round about’s. If my man wanted to live his dream I’d be right behind him.
Looks like I should just make the choice already hey! haha
again Hello Turia
i wanna offer you a new tittle for your post ” YOU ALWAYS HAVE A CHOICE DEPEND ON YOUR OBJECTS AND GOALS IN LIFE”.
hope anybody else find new better tittle .till finding perfect meaning . truly yours . majid
Firstly I am so so happy for you and Michael with the lil fella coming soon. Life is just so great isn’t it!
Thank you for this email. 6 mths ago I was in a job where I was physically and mentally stretched very single day. I had a fall at work and it made me realise one thing. If I believed in myself, then I could do anything. I’m clocking up my 6 mth period tomorrow and ha e my full time contract to sign tonight. And gods honest truth, my gorgeous daughter living in the UK has just gotten herself a full time job. Paid holidays, everything. I have the same outlook that you do but you present it in a way that is too hard to ignore. I have this theory and it’s my rego plates too
JFDI – Just Effing Do it
Thank you for sharing this, your life, you heart. Take care beautifl girl. This next chapter of your lives is the best you will ever have. Being a Mumma will make your heart burst. Enjoy xx
I’m loving the post, I thought I paid for the book but I don’t know how to download it, can you help me? Thanks, I’m away and I can’t check my Bank Balance. Thank you, Lynne/Lynette Anderson.
Hi Lynne! Shoot an email through to email@example.com and the team will help you out! T x
I did the exact same, was not enjoying my job, I have done a lot of different courses, flowers, cake decorating, etc, I love people, and helping them, so April 2016 I opened up my own business, wedding hire and balloons, best decision made, sure it was a little scary, but I did not wake up thinking oh I have to go to work, every day is different, we have lovely customers, and always have a laugh.
Such timely words Turia ❤️❤️ thank u x
I loved your blog post this morning. It resonated with me. I run a non-profit geared towards helping senior animals and those with special needs and behavioral issues. I do this on my free time outside of working a full time job. There are times when it can be overwhelming, being able to juggle career, passion work, friend time, me time, boyfriend time, family time and of course, Mitzi time (my cat). But, it all comes down to a choice that I have made for myself. We all have a choice, and my choices bring inspiration and joy. There are times when what brings us joy may also come with it’s own set of situational challenges. But they are simply situations, either to be dealt with or accepted.
Thanks for your inspiration. I found you just a little while ago via Instagram and learned of your story. You are amazing.
Hi, I’m battling with my depression and eating disorders, and there are a lot of things and thoughts about how I look myself and my whole life. I use to be very hard with myself, so so perfectionist, you know, that annoying feeling of “I’m not enough”. Well, my point is that yeah, you’re right, I have the choice over what I think and do. I’m not my diagnoses and my illness, I’m Natasha and I have a lot of great things to share and make. Thank you for reminding me this. You’re such a beautiful soul, full of light. Love you ❤
It feels like your emails pop into my inbox just when I need a reality check or a new lens to look through.
I feel a bit like Dave, except Dave has a dream of opening a business and I just know I’m not really into my job and don’t know what to do.
It’s good to reframe my current situation right now. But where do you go from there? How do you start to work out what’s next??
I love your words of wisdom Turia……yes we always have a choice and we are always making a choice
– even by not making a choice you are actually making a choice…..thank you for giving me the reminder!!
I have been musing on this very topic now for a couple of weeks. Your email is spot on and possibly a bleedingly obvious SIGN for me (do you think?!!). Thanks for the push and the honesty. It’s like you’re my new life coach! If you can just keep writing along these lines now whilst I take this journey that would be appreciated. LOL. Seriously love your refreshing blog.
Hi Turia you are truley an inspiration. For the last 5 months i have gone through the most difficult time in my life. I have had quite a few losses and I have at times found it very hard to stay positive. I believe in giving back to my community and I just want you to know your positive words really help me all the best and take care Sue Mally
Oh my goodness, I love, love, LOVE this! Exactly what I am trying to teach my boys. ?
I ran a successful business as a stainless steel fabricator for 9 years that was making us lots of money, the downside was I spent most of my time away from the people I loved my wife and children. I made the choice continue making money or have a life change. I went back to school and became a teacher (not bad considering I was asked to leave school in Year 10). Now I teach secondary school kids about life and resilience in Personal Development using your book as inspiration.