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Mindset Strategies

Scared? I was too.

By November 9, 201722 Comments

Hey champ,

I wanna chat to you about fear.

See, for years after my accident, I was terrified of fire.

It was such a crippling and pervasive fear that I couldn’t even watch the news if they were showing images of a fire.

I couldn’t go to BBQ’s and if Michael put candles on the dinner table? Uh uh, no bloody way.

But I didn’t want this fear to stop me from living my life. I wanted to be able to sit around a campfire with my mates, I wanted to be able to light a candle, I wanted to be able to watch the news without freaking out.

So, I devised a plan.

Today, prompted by an email I received from a woman named Angie, I thought I should share that plan with you – in video form.

In this video blog, I’ll share how I overcame my fear of fire, answer Angie’s question about how to overcome her fear of public speaking, and share some tips that YOU can use to conquer just about any fear.

So, if there’s a fear you want to overcome, today’s video is gonna be good viewing!

Remember, step by step you can tackle any fear. Tweet it!

Now, over to you, I’d love to know if there’s a fear you’ve conquered, and what steps you used to overcome it.

Let me know in the comments below.

Turia xx

PS – Don’t want to miss my posts? I don’t blame ya! Pop your details here so I can let you know the next time I share a strategy like this one.


  • Phil Mcdonald says:

    Hey Turia, your right, it’s small steps, but repetition, that in the end overcomes fear, the more you repeat a task, the more you water down the fear component, for me I had a fear of competing, but I learnt the more I trained, the fitter and more confident I became about competing without the fear of failure.

  • Lobna Hussain says:

    This is so helpful. Thank you Turia!

  • Hi Turia,
    Great post.
    3 years ago I was asked to join a Network group. My friend said it will be great for your business and your confidence. Well after he kept asking me I finally said yes.
    I can still remember my first networking breakfast. I didnt sleep the night before and felt sick when I arrived. I had to stand up and deliver a 60 sec spill about my business. Which I think went for 10 sec. I didn’t look at anyone. Fast forward till today.
    I stand up and deliver 60 sec, 5 minutes and 10 minute presentations. And just returned from Bali where I was asked to deliver a 45 minute speech about Investing in You.
    How did I get to this stage
    2 x NLP sessions
    3 Hynotherapy sessions
    6 Public speaking sessions
    And a never give up attitude.
    I saw you in Darwin and how you presented your speech.
    Very down to earth. You were just you with humour. Great presentation.
    So I took some ideas from you.
    And the Bali presentation went Amazing.
    To Angi, never give up on a dream or goals. Just take small steps and you will get there.

  • Tamzin says:

    This was a well timed reminder. I am fearful of leaving the house at the moment due to a recent event.
    However I’ve used a technique the same as yours previously to get over an extreme phobia of sharks where I couldn’t even look at a picture of one. So I know that I can get over this too if I work at it. You are an inspiration thank you.

  • Ali says:

    Hi Turia!
    This is a great post – thank you so much.

    My approach to conquering fear was a bit different, but it worked….eventually! When I was 18, I got my driver’s license but was in a minor car prang on my first ever solo drive. It was just enough to rock my confidence and scare me off driving. Not long after, my best friend was in a serious road accident and died 2 weeks later in hospital. I had spent a lot of time in the ICU with her leading up to her death and during that time it really hit me how fragile the human body is. It was extremely confronting, especially as a young person, to see my friend connected to all of those life support systems. It also reinforced the idea that I should avoid driving at all costs.

    Fast forward over 10 years later, I still hadn’t conquered my fear of driving. I had somehow managed to get by, but at one point I just decided enough was enough. I applied for a job where the ability to drive was a requirement. I had kept my driver’s license valid over the years, so all I needed to do was re-learn how to drive! As soon as I was offered the job, I found a driving instructor and told him he was to show no mercy. No nicey-nicey. Just throw me in at the deep end, and btw, we only have 3 weeks to do this! It was scary as hell, but it worked! I remember doing my first solo drive (after the first failed attempt all those years ago). My whole body was shaking, but the feeling of elation once I did it was amazing.

    If I had to do it again, though, I think I would do it your way. Just get back in the saddle again asap and take baby steps, one step at a time!

  • sasa says:

    Hello Turia
    your life is a great inspirational story
    Please explain what you were doing with the scars?
    My body is scared,consequens burns 3th
    Did you use any balsam, besides surgery, laser interventions?

  • Sam king says:

    As always brilliant tips !!
    Thanks Turia !!

  • Adam says:

    Hi Turia,
    Thanx for your video and the newsletters. it’s very helpful. I appreciate all your work. Wish you and your family all the best. Greetings from Poland, Adam

  • Kay Le-Roi says:

    I think this is fantastic advice, Turia! I have used time in my car to practice what I’m going to say at a meeting/conference. Those long trips can be put to good use. And who cares what other drivers think if they see you talking to yourself!!

    If I’ve got a difficult/challenging phone call/conference call to have I write a script – it is reassuring to have it in front of you.

    Keep up these videos please, Turia. Also are you speaking anywhere so that I can come and hear you?

    Good wishes,

  • Jen Ackerman says:

    Hi Turia,

    I love all your emails and tips! I can’t wait to read them and I can’t wait to apply them to my life! I am a PE teacher and public speaking is not a problem for me, but one fear that I struggled with was running outside on the streets. I know this sounds silly, but I have had 3 kids and after having them, I spent most of my runs on the treadmill or elliptical. My confidence of running on road again knowing that my body was where l wanted it to be consumed me with anxiety. I began by gathering some of my girlfriends together and we ran together. This gave me a support system while stepping out of my comfort zone. After a few weeks of running regularly with the girls, I attempted a solo run and it was scary, but l turned on my music and cruised. A couple months later, I ran my first comeback 5k and felt great. Once I got over my roadblock, I felt stronger and more confident then the me before being a Mom. There are still struggles, but it won’t stop me.

    Thank you for the dose of positivity you bring to my email! I truly appreciate it!

    – Jen

  • Darcy Spitz says:

    A few years ago I was diagnosed with thyroid cancer. I had no symptoms and it was a total shock. I was terrified and spent way too much time scaring myself further by reading horror stories on the web, waiting for surgery. Fortunately, I have a circle of friends and a wonderful husband who loves me. I decided that I couldn’t control the cancer, but I could control the way I responded to what was going on. I focused on how kind my husband was to me, and how lucky I was to be going through something rough surrounded by love. I had friends that wisely advised me to stop surfing the web. I felt they cared for me and I was appreciative. And I started to focus on the positives — the doctor and medical staff who were treating me were terrific and I was treated in a very positive way. I focused on all that kindness which I appreciated greatly. I was still terrified and anxious, but by focusing on the positives around me and the fact that my cancer was caught early, despite being aggressive, I reframed the entire situation. I now take thyroid medication to replace my missing thyroid, and I think of that as a gift because I no longer have cancer. I reframed everything and let my small circle of friends and family support me.

  • Alma says:

    Thank you Turia,

    I been struggling with anxiety right after recovering with a physical problem. I would get an anxiety attack while been surrounded by too many people, fear of getting worse while been away from home, I got professional help, I saw a psychologist which helped alot. I confronted my fear/ansiety by going out a bit more, go for a walk, take a deep breath and repeatedly said to myself “alma is in control” (mantra) until all fear and ansiety went away. Confronting my fear and with the help of God, is a step further to eliminating all mental health problems.

  • Chris Nugent says:

    Great advise Turia,

    I’m very much identical to the lady’s comments above with my Breast Cancer diagnosis.
    Your an inspirational lady Turia Good luck with your pregnancy xx

  • Michelle says:

    Hi Turia.
    Thanks for another inspiring post.
    I too have been stopped in my tracks by fear.
    In 2014 at 43 years old I was told I had a cancer tumour in my sinus cavity .
    I had major surgery that was 14 hours long and resulted in a cut that went from the corner of my eye down to the top of my lip.
    It was followed by chemo and radiation and just when i was started to heal the cancer came back and i had to do it all over again. Because of my wonderful doctors and loving family i am now fighting fit and well.
    This type of cancer was especially hard because I have to wear my scars on my face. And although at the time it was the least of my worries as i began to heal and try to go back to my life i wondered how I would ever go out in public again looking so different.
    I had a 3 year old and 6 year old at the time so I knew locking myself up in a room was not an option if I wanted to finish bringing up my children.
    So I started with getting used to my family seeing me and getting used to their reactions.
    Then I had close friends come over.
    Then I would go out to the shops outside of my area so I could be in public but not with people I knew.
    The big one was going to my daughter’s school where I knew lots of people . So I spent first six months always wearing my sunglasses . Then one day it was a grey and rainy day and I couldn’t see a thing , so I thought well this is the day to push myself to the next level and take my sunnies off, so I did.
    Eventually as I kept pushing the fear away of how different I looked I became more and more use to my new self.
    It is important however to take these steps slowly. Fear is a natural part of our minds that is there as a protection mechanism. However I have learnt that the power of your mind is incredible and you can train it to overcome enormous fear and big hurdles that come up in your life.
    Thank you Turia , I have just finished reading your book which has been so inspirational to me and you have been a driving force for me throughout my recovery.
    Alot the feelings and thoughts you had during your recovery were similar to mine.
    I even new how you felt coming home to the south coast because I have been holidaying there my whole life and I felt the same way driving down after getting out of hopsital and going to the place where I new i could heal.
    Thank you for helping me because when you feel so low it is wonderful to have people like you who keep pushing you back up.
    Michelle x.

  • Suzie says:

    Hi Turia

    It’s so true. I overcame my fear of spiders ? by desensitising myself to them. I used to not be able to be in the same room if there was a big spider in it. Then when I was overseas I was staying in a small town and the accommodation had spiders that would drop from the balcony roof right I front of me. After a while, I just got used to it and I wasn’t scared anymore. Now, if there is a big spider in a room, it’s me, not my husband who will take it outside.

  • Lea Bailey says:

    Firstly, go Sue… above.
    I’m still struggling with meeting new people with out having a tipple of some sort! I’ve done it for four years then went back to an occasional wine.
    Now I want to have a limit and then hopefully get back to cold turkey.Baby steps and limits with this dutch courage!!

  • Sophie says:

    I was terrifed at school and uni at giving presentations too, dreading it weeks in advance. The biggest change for me came when I could start giving presentations on topics I was intimately familiar with, for example living and breathing the subject matter every day at work. At school and uni you tend to get topics given to you. Being given some random topic that no matter how much you research it over a week or so, is going to be more challenging to speak comfortably and fluently about, compared to something that is already part of your life or work experience. And yes – mirror/dog/friend/trusted colleague rehearsal progression does work wonders, not just because repetition embeds the core material in your head, but because your dear friends and colleagues can (and should!) interrupt with questions and comments, which might momentarily distract you from being nervous.

  • Jacqueline says:

    Thank you so much for sharing your experiences Turia.
    My business requires great customer service, but I get over the top excited and don’t shut up! Even though know I have to scale it back, I struggle during every phone call… so it’s easier to just not do it at all! Stupid hey?!
    After listening to you just now though, I started planning how to overcome my foot in mouth fears.
    Might just have another shot in the morning!

    • Jacqueline says:

      Thank you so much for sharing your experiences Turia.
      My business requires great customer service, but I get over the top excited and don’t shut up! Even though know I have to scale it back, I struggle during every phone call… so it’s easier to just not do it at all! Stupid hey?!
      After listening to you just now though, I started planning how to overcome my foot in mouth fears.
      Might just have another shot in the morning!

  • T says:

    Thank you so much for all the things you share! You’re changing lives in such a positive way that I can’t even find words! God bless you and your gorgeous family. xx

  • Wendy says:

    LOVE your blogs Turia. I had a fear of elevators. Sounds weird but my sister got stuck in one once and they had to squeeze out through the doors and onto a floor below. I had nightmares for years and every time I had to go in an elevator my palms would sweat and i felt sick. I would climb flights of stairs if there wasnt an escalator. One day I decided to get in an elevator alone and got up and down all levels. It was freaky. I did it several times, over a few months and it got easier each time. Yes I now dont think twice getting in an elevator!

  • Detarra says:

    Hey Turia
    Im Detarra and im ten years old and when I was little I had went swimming and so i had already took swim lessons so i was ready and i jumped in and i drowned so no came to help so my two year old brother came to help me so he already new how to swim so he grabbed me by my shirt and pulled me up.So know im learning to get more practice on swimming.