Skip to main content

The parenting tip that’s actually working for me (and will work for you too)

By March 22, 2018July 24th, 201819 Comments

Hey champ,

I’ve received stacks of parenting advice since we had Hakavai. Some solicited, some definitely unsolicited! ?

But there’s a tip that’s actually been really helpful for me.

And not just as a parent – it’s a simple mindset switch that’s helping me change the way I look at all areas of my life.

It’s actually a tip inspired by the pulchritudinous* Megan Gale, and I reckon it can help anyone change the way they see just about any situation.

Big call? Maybe.

How ‘bout I tell you, and you let me know if it works for you. Deal?

OK, let’s go.

This tip involves switching up the words you use when talking to yourself and others. When you’re faced with something that you usually find annoying, challenging or frustrating, swap the words “I have to” for “I get to”.

For example, when I get woken up at 3 am by Hakavai, instead of thinking “I have to go and feed Hakavai” I think “I get to go and feed Hakavai!”. It’s a simple mindset shift that reminds me how lucky I am to have a healthy little boy.

When I need to go to a work event that I’m maybe not in the mood for, I swap “I have to go to this event” for “I get to go to this event”. Again, it reminds me how lucky I am to get to do the work I do.

I really want you to try this!

Next time you think “Ugh, I have to go and do XXXX”, try to swap that with “I get to go and do XXXX”. It works in just about any situation …. except maybe cleaning the toilet?

I love these kinds of simple mindset switches.

They seem so innocuous, too simple to work. But when you practice them every day, you see seriously positive ripple effects throughout all areas of your life.

When you change your thoughts, you change your whole world Tweet it!

So, give it a go. Let me know how you’re going to use this switch over in the comments below.

Can’t wait to hear what you think!
Turia xx

*Pulchritudinous = beautiful. There’s your new word for the day. You’re welcome!

PS – I’ve got stacks more mindset switches and tools like this inside my eBook Mindset Magic. I love this book so much (and yeah, I know it’s lame to say that you love your own book, but I really do!!). It contains all my favourite strategies for boosting your confidence, shifting your perspective and making things happen in your life. Check it out here.


  • Colleen Bretag says:

    Hi Turia, so true. After having brain surgery for a burst aneurysm, people would ask how I was to which I would reply, “oh, so very tired” and I would feel very tired. I got so sick of hearing myself saying it and I am sure they did too that I changed my response to “I am ticketyboo, getting better by the minute” and yep, I was feeling better with a more positive response. Love getting your emails. Colleen Bretag

  • Clare says:

    Great advice. I didn’t start doing this until my daughter was dying, then I just wanted to slow everything down and appreciate every second I had with her and I punished myself that it might be too late. When she was sleeping I just looked at her, at my beautiful little girl, trying to memorise every part of her, I immersed myself in remembering every thing I could about what her voice sounded like, how she walked, and ran, and all I kept saying to myself was ‘if only I’d realised how lucky I was’, I should have listened to her instead of saying ‘im busy right now sweetie but I’ll listen in a minute’, ‘can you give me 5 minutes then I’ll be free for you’, I could have made her more important than I had, she deserved nothing less. My daughter got a life saving organ just in time to save her life. She got a second chance at life, I got a second chance at being her mum and I haven’t forgotten that everyday is amazing

  • Lisa says:

    Thanks Turia ! You’re always a source of inspirational words. XXXX

  • Bess says:

    Hi Turia,
    I just read your email and it really resonated with me!! I am recovering from an eating disorder and I tried swapping the “I have to eat food” to “I get to eat food”. It made me realise that I am so lucky to have un-restricted access to food here in Australia. Not everyone gets that opportunity!! It is a privilege to eat everyday :) Whenever I am struggling now, I will definitely use this strategy to get me through!! Thankyou so much Turia :) :) Your such an inspiration!!!

  • Lu says:

    Brilliant! Have only tried it for like an hour or two but already notice the magic. Little reminders like this how blessed I am really makes all the difference. Thank you!

  • Rachel says:

    I love it! I tried this just now, the moment after I read your email. I said to myself “I get to go to work tomorrow” and I instantly felt more grateful for the fact that I do get to go to work tomorrow, because I am lucky enough to have a job and be paid for my skills.

    I now get to spend the next couple of hours studying before bed. How lucky am I to have access to an education!

    It’s all about gratitude and it makes you feel great. And isn’t it incredible how our language influences our feelings?

    Fabulous tip Turia. I will definitely be using this.


  • Lina says:

    I have been doing this for a couple of weeks and it’s fascinating how it changes how you feel about the world. Words are powerful.

  • Anna says:

    I tried it just now. Instead of thinking “I have to” take time off work to take one of the kids to a doctors appointment, I thought “I get to” take time off, and I also get to spend the rest of the afternoon with my child;-) Simple, but it works! Thanks Turia

  • Darcy says:

    That’s a really great tip! I have been unable to get home for several days because of a huge snow storm in the northeast U.S. My flight was understandably cancelled, but the communication from the airline was horrible and then I got cancelled again without notice. I was sulking. Spending several nights away from home that weren’t planned. Poor me. Then I realized I have a comfortable hotel room to sleep in, the weather where I am is lovely, and I will eventually get home. I caught myself in the sulk and wrote about how I was feeling, then listed all the good things I am experiencing despite the inconvenience. Those words helped, and now when I think of how sulky I was, it becomes funny.

    • Turia Pitt says:

      I’ve had to do this after a few traveling “hiccups” too. Makes a huge difference doesn’t it?!

  • Hattie L Wright says:

    Thank you!!!i can used this your pic is beautiful!!??

  • Ma says:

    Thanks for sharing this just what i need sending love

  • Colleen says:

    Brilliant, simple, effective! Thanks, will definitely share with my kids (and friends, and colleagues, and acquaintances!) :)

  • Toni says:

    I discovered this switch of words “I get to…” a few months back and have been meaning to pin it up somewhere to remind me daily. So powerful. I unexpectedly got pregnant and expecting my third Easter Tues, I know all the sleepless nights are coming and I want a toolbox of coping skills to see me though and this switch of mindset will be one of them. Thanks for the reminder Turia! X

  • Kimbo says:

    This is such a fantastic ‘tip’, I tried it throughout the day and I really did feel an improvement in my own attitude and that inturn improved the attitude of my whole family.

    Thankyou Turia – I’ll be using this daily xx

  • Simonne says:

    Love this tip! I get to go to work after lunch ! It’s also about being grateful we can do these things