Let’s talk about, um, talk.
Specifically, your self-talk.
See, it’s impossible to feel good about yourself and create the life you want when your self-talk is out of whack.
So, today I want to share one of my fave strategies from my eBook Mindset Magic.
It’s a really powerful and effective tool for changing your self-talk for the better.
Ready for it?
Let’s hand over to, well, me, but in Mindset Magic form:
Have you ever noticed that after you make a mistake, say the wrong thing or put your foot in your mouth (not literally of course, unless you’re an ex-Olympic gymnast!), you ask yourself questions like “Why am I such an idiot?”, “Why do I always stuff up?”, “Why can’t I do anything right?”
In our brain, we have what’s called the RAS – the Reticular Activating System (bear with me here – that’s as science nerd as I’m gonna get, I promise).
The RAS is basically a mini Google inside your head. So, when you ask yourself a question, it’s like typing that question straight into your internal Google search bar.
Whatever you search for, you’ll find.
So, if you wanted to buy a red car, you’ll start to notice them everywhere. Your RAS presents evidence for the things you think about or ask questions about.
Likewise, if you make a mistake at work and immediately ask yourself a crappy question like, “Why am I such an idiot?” your brain will start searching for evidence to prove that you’re an idiot!
All of a sudden you’ll start thinking about all the other times you’ve messed up.
Your RAS doesn’t discriminate.
It will just find the answers to the questions you ask.
So if you ask yourself a better question like, ‘What can I learn from this?’, your brain will start the search and come up with answers that are more helpful.
Something like “Maybe next time I can double check my work”.
Your mindset is critical for failure or success.
And part of the shift in mindset is simply asking yourself better questions.
It’s that easy.
Remember, when you ask better questions you get better answers. – Tweet it!
What are some smarter questions you can start asking yourself? Let me know in the comments below.
PS – I’ve also put together this PDF for you. It’s a list of word swaps and other activities you can try to quickly spin your self talk. It will help you stop berating yourself every time you lose your keys, and help you feel more confident, and positive about yourself in minutes. It’s free to download here. So you can print it out, stick it on your fridge, and start spinning your self talk.
I’ve been here before – what will I do differently?
I like that Turia. Another good one is that when you are learning something and you don’t understand it the first few times, it can be discouraging. Repeat to yourself , I’m feeling challenged , that’s a good thing! , as it means I’m learning something new.
I noticed that after making mistakes at work rather than blaming myself, like you say, I’m an idiot or can’t do anything right- I start to write it down in my work journal as a reminder not to do it again and learn from it.
So if I forget to send an email without an attachment- I highlight my attachments now so it’s not missed.
I also allow extra 5 mins so I can proof read my work. Just by doing that it reduces the mistakes sent out.
It’s about learning and not what you always do wrong!
Thanks Turia for your motivational emails x
When I mess up, I ask myself what things I have done right in the past, to try and get some perspective on the situation. Then I aim to do better next time. We aren’t human if we don’t make mistakes sometimes.
I try not to be hard on myself with mistakes I make at work and not to be hard on other people at work who don’t pick up the training I give, as I have learned to be patient with people and tell myself everyone learns differently.
I try at the moment not to worry about other people’s thoughts and judgement of me, and bring my mind back to the moment and not the past.
I would ask myself what am I good at? Or I can fix that ! What have I done well this week
this helps alot thanks
I always say that
I just didn’t know that it affect me in so many ways
Thank You this helped me a lot
Today, i can say i just learnt a new amazing thing about myself….
“RAS” it’s just showed what we think or ask.
thanks for this knowledge