I went on a surf trip a few weeks ago. Some mates and I took the week off work, headed to Indonesia (which is one of the really good things about living in Cairns by the way – it’s like a 4 hour trip to Indo, more specifically Sumbawa).
So we just surfed or talked about surfing. We were insufferable. Thrilling to us. Insufferable to everyone else.
Anyway, when I got back, I was chatting to one of the girls in my team when she told me she wished she knew how to surf.
And so I asked her “why don’t you go and get some lessons?!”
And her response was this:
“I’d be too embarrassed.”
Here’s the thing: It ALWAYS feels embarrassing when you’re a beginner.
With running, or surfing, or ice skating or baking.
The first tray of croissants you bake – they probably aren’t gonna be perfect little arches of flaky golden pastry. Your friends and family probably aren’t gonna eat them in delight and exclaim “YOU MUST QUIT YOUR JOB AND START A FRENCH PATISSERIE AT ONCE”.
We all want to be able to grow and learn something new without embarrassing ourselves.
So many women have told me they would have started running earlier in life, if only they could do it in private – getting all the slow and embarrassing runs out of the way FIRST, and only emerging when they felt “fit enough” – running down the main street of town with perfect technique, breathing controlled, ponytail perfectly bouncing behind them.
We want to avoid feeling embarrassed at all costs, even if it means never learning at all.
But that’s not how it works. We have to be willing to be bad at something before we can be good at it.
And yes, that feels embarrassing. But it has to be!
It’s going to feel embarrassing because it means you have to let go of that self-image you’ve created for yourself.
If you’re a beginner, you have to let go of the image that you have everything already figured out.
You might want to look like you’ve got your sh*t together – but that is only possible if guess what, you’re not growing and learning.
So, how do you deal with feeling embarrassed?
- Start to pay attention to it.
That’s all – you don’t need to do anything about it except clock it when it shows its head. When you don’t join your friends for that bushwalk, notice it. When you don’t sign up for that running program, notice it. When you avoid feedback or coaching or support, notice it.
- Ask yourself this question:
What would be possible if you didn’t have to worry about feeling embarrassed? Or maybe “what’s on the other side of this fear that I want?”
- Accept that the things we want for ourselves very often live on the other side of fear.
And if you want to grow, and change, well, embarrassing yourself is gonna be part of the process. And that, my friend, is a very good and normal thing.
Go get after the things you want. Embarrass yourself. The more you do it, the more you realise no one else has their sh*t together either.
Oh! And, surrounding yourself with a supportive community that encourages you to take risks and celebrates our efforts, regardless of the outcome – kind of like my crew with Run with Turia – can make all the difference!
Now, if you’re interested in learning more about how we do things inside Run with Turia, head here to get all the info.
Enrolments are open this week only and won’t open again until October/November.
PS – Do you feel like your body is “too big” or “not the right shape” to be able to run?
Because that’s what a lot of women tell me.
If that’s you, I’d love to invite you to a live webinar tonight:
Big Girls Can’t Run (and other lies)
Monday, July 17
Hosted by my colleagues Jess and Grace, the girls will share:
– how they got started with running in bigger bodies
– how to deal with self doubt and the fear that your body just isn’t the “right” size or shape for running
– how to make a plan for your first run, and;
– how to celebrate what your body can already do (as it is right now – no changes required).
My running program Run with Turia is very proudly a weight and size free space. We don’t talk about weight loss. We talk about how to get out and do fun, new, exciting and challenging things in the body you’re already in. 3,000+ women, all doing cool stuff, together. I love it.
Jess and Grace are awesome and this webinar is a MUST watch.
Note: You must register via that link above.
Our webinar platform, Demio, will then send you your unique link to join.
Can’t join the webinar live? That’s OK. Please register anyway, and we’ll send you a replay link to watch after.