A few weeks ago I got an email from a lady named Kelly.
She said she’d been having some issues with friends and family, and it had her self esteem at an all time low.
She asked me “What can I do to start feeling good about myself again?”.
It’s a really good question, and I’m so bloody glad Kelly asked it … because we all deal with this feeling, yeah? It doesn’t matter if you’re a pro-athlete, a celebrated neurosurgeon or the world’s best hand model – no one is immune to dealing with low self esteem from time to time.
So, what advice did I give Kelly?
Here’s my take on things:
The way I look at it, we all have a self-esteem ‘bank account’. Being kind to yourself, being able to look at yourself in the mirror and give yourself a compliment, accepting other people’s compliments graciously – all of these things put a ‘deposit’ in your account. The same goes for positive interactions with people – each one makes you feel good about yourself, and leaves a little credit in your account.
Negative interactions with people are withdrawals from your account. People staring overtly at you could make you self-conscious and therefore could be a withdrawal. Someone saying to you: “Do you really need that second piece of cake?”** – that could be another withdrawal.
Add lots of these negative interactions together and you’re looking at a self esteem account in the red.
Here’s the thing:
There will always be people or situations that – either inadvertently or on purpose – will make a withdrawal from your self-esteem account when you deal with them. The important thing is to be aware of it, and to make enough deposits yourself to create enough of a cushion that you don’t even notice.
You can start by:
giving yourself a compliment every time you look in the mirror
hanging out with people who make you feel good about yourself
working on your self-talk! (PS There’s stacks of self talk tips inside my eBook Mindset Magic)
The more deposits you make, the bigger your buffer will be for dealing with the negative stuff in life.
OK, over to you.
I wanna know:
One compliment you can give yourself right now, and;
One other small deposit you could make in your self esteem account TODAY?
?Let me know in the comments below ?
Get chatting in those comments, I really want to hear from you!
PS If you want more tips for building confidence, smashing goals and overcoming negative self chat, check out Mindset Magic! More than 10,000 people have downloaded this little eBook of mine and I can’t wait for you to get stuck in too!
**Oh and yeah, maybe hang out with this person a little less!