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Are you talking yourself out of your dreams?

By August 3, 2017December 8th, 201712 Comments

Hey champ,

Since I got back from Africa, something’s been troubling me a bit.

There was this day on safari where we learned about the hunting methods of the Bushmen in the Kalahari desert (the Bushmen are a tribe in Namibia, otherwise known as the San people).

One of the earliest hunting strategies was that of persistence hunting. The Bushmen would track an animal, running with it for sometimes days at a time until the animal tired enough to slow down, allowing the Bushmen to catch it.

Now, for the record, I’m definitely not saying that I think hunting animals is cool!!!

But as an endurance runner, the idea that running was an important, even necessary, part of life for our ancestors absolutely fascinated me.

Part of me instantly wanted to take off on an epic ultra-marathon adventure through the African desert – just me, the heat, and miles and miles of wild space to cover. As you know, I love a physical challenge, haha!

But, almost immediately, I started to think about all the reasons I couldn’t do that: I can’t manage hot climates well because of my injuries, I have a growing business and team to manage, oh, and um, yeah, I’m pregnant!

I completely talked myself out of it.

And it got me thinking, how many other things have I talked myself out of before I’ve even had a chance to consider them properly?

It’s a question I want to ask you:
How often are you shutting down ideas that excite you?

See, that little spark of passion and adrenaline you feel when you’re excited by an idea – that’s usually the sign that you should go for it.

So, here’s my challenge to you:

I want you to think of the last idea or dream that really excited you.
Now, I want you to write a list of all the reasons you used to talk yourself out of doing it.
Then, one by one, I want you to see if you can break through those reasons.

I think that we learn to talk ourselves out of ‘crazy’ ideas at a pretty young age. As a teenager, we start to learn from the adults around us – our parents, teachers, friends and extended family – about the ‘realities’ of life. You grow up, get a job, pay your taxes, get married etc etc. The big dreams for your future start to become a bit silly.

Sure, wanting to be an astronaut at age 8 is great, but when you’re failing Year Ten Physics, that dream starts to fade.

But I think the ideas that really excite us are worth taking a second look at.

Maybe you’ll write your list and see that your reasons for not chasing that dream are more important to you than the dream itself. But maybe some of them aren’t.

Maybe some of your dreams are more do-able than that little voice in your head would let you believe.

To paraphrase Robert Kiyosaki, it’s not what you say out loud, but what you whisper to yourself that has the most power. – Tweet it!

Don’t let that little whisper say “I can’t”.

I’d love to know, what dream have you been talking yourself out of?

Let me know in the comments below.
Turia xx

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  • Tracey says:

    I would really like to do the Kokoda Trail ?

  • Danielle Grant says:

    I love this Turia! A few years ago some of my girlfriends wanted to walk the Kokoda track, I instantly thought I couldn’t do as it wasn’t the right time for me – I had a 3 year old autistic son and a 2 year old daughter! They planned to do it in 2 years time so I knew my son would be in prep and my daughter in kinder – again more reasons I couldn’t do it! However, with the support of my husband, my parents and in-laws I did it and had the most amazing time and everyone coped fine without me and I’m a better person for it!!

  • Liz says:

    What a time to read this!
    I’ve been in a constant battle with myself this week over talking myself in and out of a spot at the Worlds champs in Chattanooga!
    My dream is to go!
    My head keeps telling me I’m not good enough and I don’t have the funds !!

  • Marcia says:

    I know what you’re saying, but I think it goes one step further back. It’s other people that start the ‘whispers in your head’.

    In my case, there have been others in my life who have ‘poo-pooed’ my bright ideas for whatever reason. And when that’s done often enough, you doubt yourself and think that your ideas are worthless, and then you move that a step further, as in my ideas = me, so I must be worthless.

    So what I’ve done over the past few years is to really consider who those negative people are in my life, and to remove them and put them in a place where they no longer hold any sway over who I am and what I think or feel.

  • Selina Steve says:

    Hey Turia,
    You certainly have just a few small things stopping you from running off into the desert. Your precision cargo is just soo going to get in your way. Lol. Congrats ?
    My dream is to open my own shop. My health isn’t soo good, so the idea of working for anyone is just unimaginable at the moment. I had to resign from my job as a security guard a few years back due to a tad little break up, baby, homeless situation, which left me unable to commit to my 12 hour rotating shifts. Lol. After 6 months in a tent, I finally got a place and now I am back on my feet. I am working towards my goal. Funds are dry so, I have had to get creative, I decided to convert my garage into a little weekend garage sale/ homemade shop. I will have my shop some day, but this will get me started. I make all kinds of things. Dream catches, baby clothes?, art, and bits n bobs. Lol.
    I love to read your journey. Keep us updated with how you’re traveling with pregnancy. Boy Ohh boy, looking forward to seeing you as a Mummy. Xoxo
    Cheers Selina

  • Serra says:

    learning everything on Egypt history or archaeology
    moving to a small town with some green gardens, small houses and rivers in it
    getting a telescope and lose myself at the night sky
    playing the violin – dared to start it at 35, now at 3rd year!- and playing difficult pieces I loved the most when I was a child -um, not yet
    traveling to the Arabic deserts somehow
    … one day…

  • Fleur says:

    Love this. I’m always overthinking and talking my way out ‘dreams’, ‘ideas’. I get really excited and a little jealous when someone tells me about an idea they have then they actually go for it!

  • Christine says:

    I’m an artist, a good one (the confident voice speaking), but I’ve had three kids, I’ve had to work a ‘real job’, I haven’t time, I’m not quite good enough. I am changing my bad patterns this year and I have a plan. Now to stick to it and not let that negative lazy side take over. :)

  • Georgia Hunt says:

    Love this!! …I signed up for the Melbourne Marathon this year,my first ever marathon is happening in less than 10 weeks :O So excited but just as nervous!! Also want to do the Kokoda track for my next trip overseas :)

  • Thank You Turia! Perfect timing as always.. I’m at the Byron Bay writer’s festival with my manuscript of raw human tales in hand… I’d love to collect a short story from you one day! Part of me finds the pitching part of the book writing process freaking hard. I love collecting stories from incredible people doing awesome things, but the selling of it .. not so much! So.. here I go.. challenge to myself – get my butt to every event this weekend and get amongst it all! x

  • Josefina says:

    Thanks for the motivation Turia,
    in my case my dream is to study in Australia (I live in Chile) and practice competitive triathlon at the same time, in that amazing country.
    I am now working hard on my training and studies but my parents place those “excuses” wich make me doubt this dream, making it sound silly in the traditional family I belong to.
    I did the list you described and the only real limiter is money. I am now all in trying to get a scholarship.

    You are a true inspiration Turia and have made me see hope in my darkest times.

  • Annie says:

    Hi. I’m 63, trim, agile but unfit. My dream is to get really fit, nurture my body really well. Learn exactly what nutrients (vegan) my body requires to achieve ‘greatness’, to run and complete a course & yes, to complete the Kokoda Trail would be awesome. But the desire is there but not the fortitude & dicipline. So l shoot myself down every time. But the dream is always alive. Hmmm…