Before I had Hakavai, I had this idea that I would record all the important milestones in his little life. I thought it would be cool to reflect on when he was older.
Also, I like data. But, you know that about me already.
So, for the first six months or so, I kept a little note open in my phone.
Every time he reached a significant milestone (well, significant to me – his first time wearing a gangsta cap was important, OK? That happened on March 14, in case you were curious).
His first proper smile happened at 5 weeks, he held his own bottle for the first time at 14 weeks, first teeth came through at 24 weeks. There’s lots of other things, big and small, jotted down on the list.
And then, at 44 weeks, I have the last record I made – his first unassisted steps.
It might seem out of character for me (someone who has an entire online course dedicated to helping people achieve their goals) to say this, but:
Sometimes we don’t finish the challenges we set for ourselves.
And that’s OK.
The best times I’ve had with Hakavai weren’t based around the milestones.
The best times are the really small moments. The ones that might otherwise pass you by.
Like watching him play with his toys in the early morning light, marvelling at his tiny fingers as he moves blocks around with intense focus.
You don’t have to finish every task you’ve set out to achieve this year.
If you’re not getting any value out of the process, if there’s no delight in it for you, if there’s no greater reason behind it, you don’t have to keep going.
Don’t spend your life checking off some list because “you should” do it.
Your time is precious. Spend it on the stuff that’s actually precious to you.
PS – Wanna know how to make those precious times last longer?
Gratitude, mate. Gratitude. You also know this about me, but I practise gratitude every single morning. And each time I do, I recall those little moments – sitting next to Michael in the car as he’s driving me to my 50th operation. Going surfing with my brothers when they were here last. Getting taurumi (Tahitian massage) from my Mum.
I hold them in my mind, I feel immense gratitude for them, and it’s like they become anchored in my brain.
Little bit of mind magic, really. You can do it too. I outline my ten minute morning routine in this little mini-workshop here. I call it my Morning Mindset Routine and it’s very, very easy, very, very effective (and very, very helpful), I promise.
PPS – If you think a friend, a colleague or your Aunt Sue might enjoy this blog post, share it with them! And if they like what they read, and want more from me, let them know they can join our letter gang right here. You are a very good friend. Thank you!