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Hey champ,

If you’ve ever felt afraid of rejection, this blog is for you.

See, a couple of weeks ago, I got an email from someone who felt stuck. Alison told me that she’d moved to a new area and was afraid to make new friends. She was worried she just wouldn’t be accepted, that she’d be the odd one out.

She was afraid of rejection.

“Did you ever deal with this fear after the fire?” she asked.

Uhhh, yeah, you bet I did!

In fact, for months after I first got out of hospital I would run and hide in the bathroom whenever the postman delivered the mail!

Rejection is a normal part of life …. and it hurts! It’s no wonder our brains are wired to fear it.
But, like I say all the time, you’ve gotta move though fear if you ever want to live an epic life.

After all, a life spent tucked up in your comfort zone is no life at all! Tweet it.

Today I want to share the four strategies that I used to get through my fear of rejection in the early days of my recovery. I filmed a quick vid walking you through each tip.

Watch it below:

I’d love to know how you face that fear of rejection.
So, after you’ve had a chance to watch the vid, let me know in the comments below!

Turia xx

PS – Don’t want to miss my posts? I don’t blame ya! Pop your details here so I can let you know the next time I share a strategy like this one.

 

Join the discussion 27 Comments

  • Marg says:

    Thank-you for being so generous – thank-you for just being you.

  • Sal says:

    That was excellent thanks Turia! I’m in my 40s and still struggle with the fear of rejection most days for various reasons. Your tips were great. One helpful thing that your video does in particular is make people realise they’re not the only one who feels that way, which is SO helpful. A big factor in the fear of rejection is wondering why you are not worthy of other people’s approval even though others are, which can be incredibly isolating.
    Well done Turia!

  • Farrah says:

    You are absolutely AH-MAZE-ZING, Turia!

    I just love love love this video – it’s so important that we all arm ourselves with these kind of strategies to help manage increasing fears of not fitting in – especially in such a digitally visible age where we are constantly bombarded with images of “perfection” on social media.

    I can’t wait to get my hands on a copy of your latest book. You’ve always been my “go-to” thought when my battle with cancer and it’s complications while losing my relationship and parenting two babies seemed impossible..! But I look to you and remember the exemplary courage and tenacity you have shown and I know that if you can do what you have done, overcome such unimaginable challenges, I can certainly face mine. Baby steps, baby!!!

    Thankyou for being YOU!!! You hit me right in all my feels xxxxx

  • Catherine Yee says:

    Love the video idea!
    Fear can be such a strong emotion to try and overcome! I think your first tip, to acknowledge the emotion, that it’s part of our make up, is a great idea to take away it’s control!
    And not assuming what others are thinking is also such a helpful reminder! (I like the quote: be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about)
    In fact all 4 tips from your video are great!
    Thanks for sharing

  • Stella Barber says:

    Thank you Turia, are you sure you are a professional engineer as I think you are an amazing psychologist! great advice, especially the point about not assuming what others are thinking, a big mistake of mine! and of course we always assume bad things, rarely good! many thanks for this fabulous video 🙂 xo

  • Anne Meli says:

    Turia, thank you! Seriously! How do you do this? How do you remain so upbeat? It’s so wonderful. P.S saw you grabbing a cuppa at my fave hangout in Ulladulla last weekend (Native Cafe). I wanted to say hi and get a photo but also wanted to let you just enjoy your time and space. It made my day anyway. xx

  • Caroline Houston says:

    Hi
    Rejection/failure seem to fall into similar buckets. Thanks for giving simple strategies for such daunting situations that are very confronting for many of us. And thanks for sharing insights into how you have used them. Your inner strength is amazing.

  • Mandi says:

    Great tips 🙂 going to take those on board!

  • Kerry says:

    Thank you Turia. It was great how you broke down how to deal with these feelings in steps and the examples you gave were really helpful. I just love your direct and no nonsense attitude to dealing with these issues. I just finished your new book – brilliant. So amazing to hear from all those people around you who have been on this journey with you. Such a heartfelt book. Thanks.

  • Jacqueline says:

    Love the video…and especially the idea of answering a reader / fan question.
    Short, sharp and sweet!
    Thank you Turia. x

  • Tan says:

    Uggh – loved this. Thank you – please keep posting them.
    A strategy that I have used/use – if something knocks my confidence I force myself to come up with an equal number of worst case scenario outcomes to positive outcomes – the bad are easier to come up with obviously, but the amounts always have to be equal – even if they start to get ridiculous/ humorous (humour is always a great go to) – Irish proverb: If it’s drowning you’re after, don’t torment yourself with shallow water
    More often that not – this process takes so long the situation loses momentum.

    • Turia Pitt says:

      Stoked you liked this – will have to shoot some more vids! Love this idea – I use a similar method to reframe negative situations and it’s a winner! T x

  • Laura says:

    Hi Turia
    Thanks so much for doing the video and sharing your tips!
    Later on in the year I am going to move to a place where I do not know a soul- from this, I will move 4 times within a year- all facing the same situation of not knowing anyone. Therefore the fears you raised in the video are all genuine fears of mine. The tips to overcome these though are very simple and great!
    My thoughts heading into this situation currently is to embrace each opportunity that comes my way and your tips will allow me to do this with much more confidence!!

    Thankyou!
    Laura x

    • Turia Pitt says:

      That’s awesome Laura – remember that all the good stuff happens outside your comfort zone. Keep embracing those opportunities! Good luck! T x

  • Joanne says:

    Your are absolutely incredible. That’s all.

  • Kim Coleman says:

    Lots of great points.. the point about assumptions hit home for me.
    I’m 50 & still learning. Just about every woman I know tends to assume the worst .. and no this isn’t me making an assumption lol I have a very verbal group of girlfriends and generally their first assumption is negative xo

  • Mel P says:

    Thank you for the video, Turia, these are great techniques. Very inspiring. I’ve been trying to get up the courage to do something bold and this may have just tipped the scales… 🙂

  • Karen says:

    Great video thanks Turia, and I just loved your new book. So many powerful lessons to learn!
    Also thanks to your School of Champions course, the workbooks inspired me to realise a great way for me to face the fear of rejection and in fact any challenge that is way outside my comfort zone. It is this: I’m a strong swimmer and love doing ocean races because I’m able to swim in challenging conditions that I would never swim on my own. I just go into competition mode and get in there! So I’ve decided to apply that same mindset to my fears. I think of them as “race day” and go into that different mindset to take it on. And then when I’ve tackled it, I feel really proud of myself not only because I did it but because I was clever about it.

    • Turia Pitt says:

      I love this Karen! So cool! Using the ‘race day’ mentality is such a good way of getting in the zone to tackle the hard stuff. Love it. T x

  • Karen says:

    Great video and yes I have used the baby steps method to combat a similar fear

  • Sue says:

    Hi Turia

    Wonderful advice and perfect timing for me. I needed this. Thank you x

  • Debra Harrip says:

    Thanks Turia! I went to the same gym 6 – 7 days a week for nearly 2 years, always hoping someone would start a conversation with me and I could make a friend to train with (I was too shy to instigate one). It never happened, though I did love going and training anyway. I obviously needed to push myself out of that comfort zone.

  • becca says:

    Thank you! I just heard your interview on Rich Roll’s podcast–what a wonderful and amazing story you have; I was telling my teenage daughter about it, and am getting her to listen to the interview. Anyway: Fear of rejection is something I’ve worked with a lot over the years and I’ve come to many of the same approaches you mention in the video. At the core is reminding myself, No one care about this [whatever stressful and potentially rejecting situation] as I do. This happened in the process of going up for tenure in my university: every day I’d come in and know that “People will be talking about you and judging you” (as my colleague put it) and it wasn’t just my imagination. That’s what the process is about! In the end of an 8-year evaluation process, they will either say Yes or say No, and my life will take one of two radically different paths. What I learned: I really really believe that it’s important not to take anything personally – as much as possible avoid this. Things that feel very personal — that person just said something incredibly insensitive to me — often has almost nothing to do with me at all but stems from (maybe) the fact that they were worried about their husband, they were getting bad news that day, they were trying to be clumsily reassuring, or something like that. Thank you again!

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